When you ask parents what they fight about with their kids most often, a majority will tell you it’s screens. Whether it’s an iPad-induced meltdown with your toddler or an all-out battle of wills over devices at the dinner table with your teens, it seems that technology is at the heart of some of the most epic blowouts for families.
Each of our family units is unique, but the tech battles are ubiquitous. Often, it boils down to kids wanting more time, access or autonomy—and parents resisting. There’s a disconnect between us and our children because we grew up when tech was emerging. Where we see technology as something we turn on and off, our kids see it differently. It’s not an “on-and-off” thing for them. They see it as integrated with all aspects of their school, home and social lives.
And for most parents, giving kids the freedom and time they desire online is a non-starter. We’re told from the beginning that screen time is bad for babies and toddlers, so we try to limit it as best as possible. As kids grow and ask for new apps or games, it’s difficult for us to find the time to properly vet platforms. And, we’re aware that the platforms where older kids want to hang out can be dangerous. We’ve all seen the headlines about social media and youth mental health.
So we push back. We want our kids to focus on enriching activities and connecting with people in the real world. We have a nagging feeling that childhood isn’t the same as it used to be, and this makes us anxious.
And a lot of the time, we only have a vague sense of what our kids are doing while they’re online. Are they mindlessly scrolling through fail videos on TikTok? Watching conspiracy content on YouTube? Exchanging DMs with a stranger on Instagram?
I believe that the stress and contention come from a handful of platforms—and how they’re designed. I see two main problems. First, the digital spaces where kids spend most of their time are not designed for children. (Even apps that claim to be for kids are often just retrofitted versions of adult platforms.) They rely on mechanisms and features like infinite scrolls, streaks, likes and follower counts that keep users coming back for more. These environments are irresistible to most adults—so it’s no surprise that kids are drawn in the way they are. When children spend time on these kinds of platforms, it’s a screen-time-limit battle waiting to happen.
The second problem is that there are hardly any platforms where kids, parents and other family members can hang out together. Most of the time, an app invites us to set a few parental controls for our kids and then we never think about it again. We feel disconnected from what our kids are doing online because we hardly ever join them. When technology is designed this way, it creates more problems for families than it solves.
But when technology is designed to include all ages, it has the power to bring the whole family closer together. Just like family-friendly spaces in the real world, family-friendly tech helps generations connect. But for technology to deliver on this promise, it needs to be designed right. Not only does it need to be safe, but it also needs to appeal to kids, parents and grandparents. It’s a tall order, but it’s totally possible if a tech company cares enough to do it.
So far, there are hardly any platforms that bridge the gap between parents and kids. There aren’t many environments that we can all enjoy together. We’re trying to fix that at Kinzoo.
We’re creating safer spaces online that kids can enjoy both on their own—and with their families. We like to think of this as “all-ages” tech because it’s not just for kids or adults. It helps kids learn the digital ropes in a lower-stakes way, and it allows parents to dip in and experience their kids’ online lives alongside them, not just from a parental-controls point of view.
The more we share these environments, the more we create discussions around it, that’s a good thing. It releases the pressure on the screen time topic. And alleviates the anxiety that parents carry with them. I know the screen time struggle firsthand, so I’m hoping that the work we do at Kinzoo can help shift the conversation.
A deeper dive
Here are a few helpful resources in case you want to really dig into today's topic:
Earlier this year, PEW Research Centre released a report on how teens and parents approach screen time. Not surprisingly, there’s a big gap in the way these two groups see screen time. According to the research, about four in ten parents and teens regularly argue about time spent on their phones. But interestingly, 46% of teens say their parent is distracted by their phone at least some of the time when they’re trying to talk to them. So technology can be a point of contention going both ways.
And there aren’t just battle lines within families about tech use. Adults are judging each other on how they’re using tech with their kids—and sometimes people without kids are wading into the fray. Not long ago, The Daily Beast published an article with the headline “Why Gen Z Won’t Be Raising iPad Kids,” and then the inevitable backlash hit. I thought this response from a mom in The Cut did a good job of shutting the whole debate down: “What does it matter to you, a perfect childless stranger, how any parent manages to create peace for their family in the brief moments that you share the same space? Every family, every kid, has their own needs for feeling comfortable and functioning, and I, for the most part, try not to judge those needs.”
TL;DR
Too long; didn't read. It shouldn't be a full-time job to keep up on industry news, so here is a mercifully quick summary of some other notable developments:
I’ve written before about the potential for AI to flood social media with misinformation—and the dangers that can pose. But apparently, we’re beyond debunking misinformation, and we’ve entered the era of “prebunking.” According to the Washington Post, prebunking exposes “people to weakened doses of misinformation paired with explanations,” and it’s aimed at helping the public develop “mental antibodies” to recognize misinformation and hoaxes.
Like a lot of other tech platforms, Google integrated AI into its search function. The results have not been excellent. Apparently, Google’s new AI Overviews feature will tell you to put glue on your pizza if you can’t get the cheese to stick. Sounds like exactly the kind of advice a robot would give. Among other dubious claims returned by the AI bot? “Former US President James Madison graduated from the University of Wisconsin not once but 21 times, that a dog has played in the NBA, NFL and NHL, and that Batman is a cop.” Apparently, the platform is pulling summaries from just about anywhere on the web, and there isn’t a lot of clarity so far on how they are selecting content to elevate.
And lastly
Here are a few more pieces of original writing from me and my team—just in case you're keen for more:
We’ve been hard at work creating a new feature in Kinzoo Messenger: a different kind of audio calling experience called Jams. We’re excited to bring this much-requested feature to the community. It’s also the perfect gaming sidecar if your kids like to chat with friends while playing Roblox.
It seems like there’s a new AI platform getting released every day. While Microsoft Copilot is more of an office work accompaniment, kids might end up interacting with it through their devices at home or school. My team put together this parent’s guide with everything you need to know.