Think back to when you were a kid. How did you spend your downtime after school? How did you fill your long summer evenings? Where did you play? And with whom? When I was young, it wasn’t unusual for me to hop a bus across town to go to a friend’s house and play video games. I’d spend the warmer months outside, running around the neighborhood with other kids. We’d stay out until dusk, which is when we knew we had to go home and check in.
Childhood looks much different today. My kids don’t run the neighborhood the same way I did. And I don’t think my parents felt the same anxiety as I do when my kids are out of sight. In the past, it wasn’t all that unusual to see a kid walking alone or a group of kids playing unsupervised. But today, it’s so unusual that some people call the police about it.
I know it’s cliche to talk about “how things used to be,” but it’s an important thing to talk about all the same. That’s because we’re in the midst of a youth mental health crisis, and we need to take a look at all aspects of modern childhood in order to better understand what our kids are going through.
Some experts blame technology, smartphones and screen time, while others cite the steady loss of independent exploration and unstructured play. But what if both things are contributing? While the science on the cause of the current crisis isn't clear, we do know that independent exploration is invaluable for kids. It helps them learn crucial life skills, develop confidence and forge meaningful relationships with peers.
And we also know that technology is part of our children’s lives. Screens are ubiquitous, and it’s not possible to keep kids off them. We know they’re spending time on platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Snap and Discord, and these spaces are not designed for children. It’s not unreasonable to think that these aren’t the healthiest online spaces for younger users, and yet, that's where a lot of kids are spending their downtime.
Instead of exploring the neighborhood alone, they’re exploring the digital world alone. And some of the platforms where they’re hanging out are a lot more dangerous than the empty lot at the end of the street. These are not the kinds of environments that help kids grow into healthy, happy teenagers and adults. But that doesn’t mean kids can’t benefit from independent exploration online.
It just needs to happen in a safe, age-appropriate environment. As a dad and the founder of a tech company, I don’t think we need to fear tech. On the contrary, when it’s designed specifically for kids, it can offer them a safe space to explore the digital world on their own.
So what might those spaces look like? You don’t need to be a security expert to imagine it. Just picture a platform where kids can’t interact with strangers. A platform where they have access to stuff that’s entertaining, educational and age-appropriate. A platform that encourages them to take breaks and check in with the real world.
If a platform can do all those things, it can give kids back some of the autonomy they so sorely need. Rather than dismissing technology as a problem, we can harness it as a solution. The digital world is where kids are hanging out. It’s where a lot of us are hanging out, so we can’t just push screens away. That’s a losing strategy.
Instead, we should build platforms that give kids the best of technology. That’s what we set out to do at Kinzoo. We recently built a kid-friendly way for kids to chat while they’re gaming. It’s called Jams—and offers a safer alternative than adult chat platforms that are flooded with inappropriate content and populated by strangers. We did this because we know kids love to “hang out” and play video games together. They’re just not bussing across town to do that anymore. But we can still give them a space “space” to do it. If we set our minds to it, I believe we can leverage technology to give kids back their autonomy and independence.
A deeper dive
Here are a few helpful resources in case you want to really dig into today's topic:
The loss of independent play correlates with a rise in anxiety, depression and suicide rates. This trend began in the 1960s. According to Peter Gray, a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College, "Over that period of time, children have also been less and less free to do the things that make them happy and build the kind of character traits — of confidence, of internal locus of control, of agency—that allow them to feel like ‘the world is not too scary, because I can handle what life throws at me.’ This kind of attitude requires independent activity to develop, and we have been offering less and less of that activity.”
In a recent excerpt from his book, Jonathan Haidt argues that it’s crucial for us to end the phone-based childhood if we want to counter the precipitous decline in youth mental health. I wrote about Haidt’s argument recently, and I also mentioned how there has been pushback from other experts who take issue with his broad conclusions. I don’t believe we need to write phones off—but I do think we need to be mindful of what kids are doing with technology. Not all platforms are created equal.
TL;DR
Too long; didn't read. It shouldn't be a full-time job to keep up on industry news, so here is a mercifully quick summary of some other notable developments:
Meta built an unthinkable amount of wealth by offering advertisers an easy way to serve ads directly to their target audience. But, a recent experiment by the New York Times found that targeted ads in the Instagram platform might not be functioning as advertised. Apparently, businesses trying to advertise merchandise for young girls are finding that it’s not parents who are seeing their ads. It’s primarily adult men—and sometimes convicted sex offenders.
It has begun: Meta platforms are getting flooded with AI-generated content, and the trend has prompted one journalist at Fast Company to complain that the platforms are becoming unusable. I hate to say “I told you so,” but I saw this coming a mile away.
And lastly
Here are a few more pieces of original writing from me and my team—just in case you're keen for more:
If you’re looking for tips on preparing your kids for the digital world, look no further than Diana Graber. She shared excellent advice with my team about how parents can help their kids thrive online.
One of the reasons we launched group audio calls in Kinzoo Messenger was to give kids a safer way to “hang out” while they’re gaming. While a lot of kids connect using Discord, it’s not designed to keep them safe. If you’re curious to learn more, here’s a parents’ guide my team put together.