We are all a part of the Social Dilemma
Issue #2
Hello, and welcome! I'm excited to be sharing the first edition of my new weekly newsletter with all of you. This is a space for us to explore the issues that matter to parents—with a decidedly non-alarmist take on technology.
But first things first. Here's a bit about me.
I’m a husband and a dad. I have two kids: a 10-year-old girl, Kaylie, and a three-year-old boy, Aiden. I'm also the founder of Kinzoo, which I started in 2018 to solve a problem my family was experiencing. My daughter was seven at the time, and we had just moved cities. She wanted to stay in touch with friends and family back home, but we couldn’t find a solution that was child-friendly, except for Facebook Messenger Kids. That was a full stop for me. No matter what anyone thinks of Facebook (for the record, I’m not a fan as I’m sure you’ll learn in this newsletter), I vehemently believe that their business model shouldn’t be anywhere around children. So, I set out to provide families with an alternative.
As both a father and a tech founder, I spend a lot of time researching and thinking about the apps, platforms, devices and products that the industry builds for children. I also know how confusing it can be for families to navigate this stuff—and how anxiety-inducing the rhetoric can be. I fully believe that tech can be a positive force for children, but we need better solutions from companies that put the needs of customers ahead of the needs of advertisers. We need to give kids the best of technology, without exposure to the worst of it.
That's why I'm offering parents level-headed insights and advice with real takeaways. I’ll share ideas on what I see as the best of technology—and thoughts on what we should be trying to avoid. In September 2019, I released my first book Screen Captured: Helping Families Explore the Digital World in the Age of Manipulation. I’ll revisit and build on many of the core ideas of the book here in this newsletter.
I’m really excited to explore this with all of you. If an issue isn’t resonating, please don’t hit unsubscribe. Reach out and tell me how I can improve it. Let’s build something special together.
Thanks so much for joining me. Now, onto the first issue!
The Social Dilemma Leaves us Searching for Answers
It's been a little over a month since The Social Dilemma premiered on Netflix—and the docu-drama definitely made a splash. Their main argument? That social platforms are going to great lengths to capture our attention through manipulative design and advanced algorithms—ultimately threatening our wellbeing—and society's. This film raises some critical issues, and I think it's important for people to watch. But, it presented a lot of problems without many suggestions for what users can do. I've already shared my ideas for how we can start to address these problems, but I've continued to reflect on the film, and here are my thoughts:
The scripted portion of the film looks at the way that a fictional family is affected by technology and social media, and one scene, in particular, struck me: when the mom locks everyone's devices in a container over dinner, it's the tween daughter who takes a hammer to it to retrieve her phone. It's a surreal moment that seems to shine a spotlight on the way technology can affect kids—but I suspect that a lot of adults would be just as likely to go berserk if someone locked up their phone. We're all part of this social dilemma, and we can't lose sight of the fact that it's actually my generation that grew these platforms to unprecedented size and scale. It was us who happily traded our privacy (and often the privacy of our kids) in exchange for keeping up with friends and family on "free" platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Except by now, we should know that "free" isn't free.
Until we have alternative platforms that prioritize our wellbeing, it falls to us to guide our kids through the fraught world of social media. But, we need to do it in a non-alarmist way in order to have more productive discussions. Think of what drew you to social media originally; I bet it was a connection with friends and family. The vast majority of our children are only doing the same, but they are doing so on new platforms like Snapchat or TikTok. That's not to say there aren't some risks involved with these platforms—because there are. But, keeping intentions in mind helps me to frame things and have better conversations about the risks. My own daughter isn't yet on social media, but we've found it useful to start talking about technology—what it means to her, how she feels when she uses it, and what she wants to get out of it. I think lots of kids are warier of social media than we give them credit for; the younger generations are broadly rejecting Facebook, and there's a growing consciousness among children that these platforms have their own motivations. So if we keep the conversation going, we might just be able to work towards a social solution together.
A Deeper Dive
Here are a few helpful resources in case you want to really dig into today's topic:
In the vein of cultivating open conversation with your kids, I found this guide to watching and discussing The Social Dilemma from Cyberwise to be very helpful. If you have older kids who are ready to see the documentary, this is a great resource to help steer your discussion. I’ve been fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to meet Cyberwise’s founder, Diana Graber, on a few occasions. She does outstanding work, and her book Raising Humans in a Digital World is a great read that I highly recommend.
Recently, a group of academics, researchers and civil rights activists put together a "Real Facebook Oversight Board" to discuss the issue of misinformation ahead of the US Election. They just don't believe that Facebook is capable of tackling the issue internally, so they are banding together to put pressure on the platform. Watch their first session here.
From my Dinner Table to Yours
Here are some notable events happening in the industry that can prompt some great conversations around your dinner table:
Young social media influencers are the newest iteration of child stars—and France just passed a law to regulate the hours kids under 16 can work online and what happens to their earnings. The legislation also includes the "right to be forgotten," meaning platforms must delete content at a kid's request. In the US, the Coogan law provides protection to child entertainers in film and TV by requiring 15% of earnings to be deposited in a trust and provides guidance for schooling, work hours and time off. Most of today's young influencers don't have any protections. Should laws like France just passed be applied everywhere to protect children that are earning income online?
A new report led by Democrats asserts that Amazon, Google, Apple, and Facebook abused their monopoly power and needed to be checked. The report recommended they be restructured and that antitrust laws be reformed. Facebook owns Instagram and WhatsApp. Google owns YouTube. If these companies were forced to split up, would that be positive, negative—or have no impact on your life?