It’s not often that politicians, celebrities and everyday parents are all talking about the same TV show. But Adolescence—the limited series streaming on Netflix—has managed to do just that. Created by Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham, the four-part drama has struck a nerve with parents across the world, and for good reason: it’s haunting, timely and disturbingly close to real life.
The series opens with 13-year-old Jamie Miller being arrested for the murder of his classmate, Katie. From there, Adolescence unpacks the events that led up to this tragedy, told in a mix of police interviews and real-time sequences. Each of the four episodes is shot in a single continuous take, making the story feel raw, immediate and impossible to look away from.
As the details emerge, it becomes clear that Jamie didn’t just snap—he was shaped. By algorithms. By cyberbullying. By toxic online communities. By a culture that glorifies misogyny and anger. By the kind of dark corners of the internet that too many kids stumble into and too few adults understand. And perhaps most disturbingly of all, the adults in his life didn’t realize what was happening until it was far too late.
For many parents, the show is hard to watch. It’s not just the subject matter—it’s the way it reflects back our deepest fears. Adolescence shows us the worst-case scenarios of what happens when kids have unchecked access to the internet. It highlights the dangerous influence of incel ideology and online radicalization. It underscores how easy it is for cyberbullying to go unnoticed by adults. And it exposes a painful truth: a lot of us don’t really know what our kids are doing online.
The adults in the show aren’t neglectful. They care. They try. But they don’t know the difference between friendly comments and subtle bullying. They don’t know who their kids are talking to online—or what those conversations are about. They don’t know that an innocent YouTube search can lead to a radical rabbit hole in minutes. And they don’t realize the power of an algorithm to shape a child’s beliefs, worldview and behavior.
It’s not surprising that Adolescence has left so many viewers feeling stressed, scared—and worst of all, helpless. It takes our already high screen anxiety and cranks it up to eleven. But if you’re still reeling from Adolescence, let me say this: you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not helpless.
The digital world isn’t something we can opt our kids out of. But we can give them the tools to navigate it safely. And we can give ourselves the tools to support them along the way. Here’s where to start:
1. Respect the age limits.
Social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are not designed for kids. Frankly, they’re not even great for most teens. These platforms are built to maximize attention, not protect mental health. The official minimum age for most is 13—but if your kid is younger, keep them off. That’s not being overprotective. That’s being realistic about the ecosystem they’re stepping into.
2. Be involved in their online lives.
When your child does start exploring online spaces, stay close. Know what apps they’re using, who they’re talking to and what kinds of videos they’re watching. Ask them to walk you through their contact list. Ask to see their posts. Yes, it might feel intrusive—but you wouldn’t send them off into a new city without knowing who they’re meeting and what neighborhood they’re in. The internet is no different. Over time, you can give them more independence. But in the beginning, monitoring is key.
3. Set clear boundaries with devices.
Screens are most harmful when they crowd out things like sleep, face-to-face connection and physical activity. Keep phones and laptops out of bedrooms. Keep them away from dinner tables. In the final episode of Adolescence, Jamie’s parents discuss how he was “online at all hours.” That should be a wake-up call. Where devices live in your home matters.
4. Teach kids how algorithms work.
In one episode, Jamie mentions to a psychologist how he initially sought out “truth groups” after bullies at school accused him of being in one. He wanted to know what it was all about. That’s all it takes for algorithms to keep feeding him more. That’s not an accident. It’s how the system is designed. Explain to your kids that shocking, upsetting content often rises to the top—not because it’s important, but because it keeps people watching. Talk about auto-play. Talk about rabbit holes. Show them how to recognize when something is trying to pull them in—and how to step back.
5. Keep talking.
If Adolescence proves anything, it’s this: silence is dangerous. The adults in the show aren’t bad people. They just didn’t ask enough questions. They didn’t know what to ask. They didn’t build the kind of relationship where their kids felt safe sharing the truth. I get it—talking to tweens and teens is hard. But open communication is the most important safety tool you have. Ask questions. Listen more than you lecture. Make sure your child knows they can come to you without fear of punishment or panic.
Here’s the reality: growing up has never been easy—but growing up online comes with a whole new set of challenges. We’re not going to solve them all overnight. But we can start by being present. By staying curious. And by refusing to let fear turn into inaction. If Adolescence left you shaken, that’s okay. Let that feeling move you. Because while the internet may be beyond our control, how we show up for our kids isn’t.
A deeper dive
Here are a few helpful resources in case you want to really dig into today's topic:
A lot of parents have been watching the series with their teenage kids. I think it’s a great idea for families to watch stuff like this together, because it inevitably leads to interesting conversations. And, Netflix is making the show available for schools in the UK to stream for free. Obviously, watching the series won’t magically solve the issue of kids using technology that harms their wellbeing—but hopefully it’ll continue the important discussion.
It’s also interesting to see the nuance in the discussions spurred around this film. It’s not just about screen time and toxic content online, it’s about the other activities that kids need in their lives in order to thrive. Experts always point out that kids need physical activity, but the fictional character at the center of the story isn’t all that athletic and tried to get out of PE class whenever possible. Ideally, we can help our kids find ways of moving that they enjoy, because that’s a hugely important counterbalance to time spent online, which tends to be sedentary.
TL;DR
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