Are you a lifeguard parent?
Issue #121
I recently had a conversation with a friend who’d just finished reading The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Her kids are five and seven, and she told me with total conviction, “No smartphones until they’re 18.”
If you’ve read the book, or even just seen the headlines, you probably understand where she’s coming from. Haidt argues that the rise of smartphones and social media has contributed to a massive decline in youth mental health. He draws a clear line between screen time and rising rates of anxiety, depression and loneliness. His solution? Delay smartphones. Ban social media. Go back to what childhood looked like before 2012. And for many parents, that message hits home. It offers something that’s been missing from this conversation for years: clarity, certainty and a sense of control. It’s a message that’s been resonating with lots of parents and educators.
My friend asked if I thought Haidt’s message would hurt what we’re doing at Kinzoo, namely, apps built from the ground up for children. I told her the opposite: it helps. Although I may not agree with every recommendation he makes, we absolutely agree on the core problem. Unregulated tech has failed kids. Social media wasn’t designed for them, and letting them loose in those spaces is a bad idea. Where we diverge is on what comes next.
Too often, parenting tech decisions get flattened into extremes. You either hand over the device and hope for the best, or you lock it away until college. It’s still the potatoes vs. heroin debate. And once again, the middle is missing. That’s the space we’re filling at Kinzoo.
Digital parenting today feels like a high-stakes game with only two options: total restriction or total freedom. And most of us are stuck somewhere in the middle, unsure how to move forward without messing it all up. You want your kid to be safe. You also want them to be prepared for the digital world of tomorrow, and included in the parts of family life that happen online today. You know they need to learn how to navigate digital spaces eventually, but you don’t want them learning by trial and error in the middle of a Discord channel at 10 p.m. with people you’ve never met. What The Anxious Generation gets right is that this current system doesn’t work. Social platforms designed for adults aren’t safe for kids, and it’s naïve to pretend otherwise.
But banning tech for kids comes with its own risks. It may sound good in theory, but it ignores what childhood looks like today. It assumes you can freeze time while the rest of the world keeps spinning. And it sends kids the message that technology is something to fear, not something to learn how to use wisely. This binary mindset doesn’t help parents. It paralyzes them. It makes them feel like if they don’t get it exactly right, they’ve failed.
At Kinzoo, we’re working to give families a better way forward. That’s why we’re introducing a new framework for the “lifeguard parent.” If the old model was the helicopter parent—hovering over every interaction, monitoring every message, stepping in at the first hint of risk—that was a lot easier to pull off when play happened in the backyard or the living room. But today’s digital world is vast, fast-moving and often invisible. You can’t hover over every app or algorithm. That’s where the lifeguard parent comes in. You’re close by. You’re paying attention. You’re not in the water with your kid every second, but you’re watching the waves, ready to jump in if something goes sideways.
Lifeguard parenting is about presence without intrusion. It’s a recognition that kids need to explore, learn and build skills—but that process still needs boundaries. It means creating environments where kids can digitally connect, create and satisfy their curiosity, without being left to fend for themselves in online spaces they’re not ready for.
We’re trying to get this term out there because we think it perfectly captures what a lot of parents are already trying to do instinctively. It’s not surveillance. It’s not controlling. It’s something smarter: proximity without pressure. Guidance without domination. Awareness without anxiety.
And as technology evolves, especially with AI, it’s time to give lifeguard parents the tools to stay involved, even when they’re not right beside the pool. In the world of artificial intelligence, there’s a concept called “human in the loop.” It means that even when machines are doing the heavy lifting, a real person is still involved, reviewing, correcting and stepping in when needed. That mix of autonomy and oversight is what keeps things on track.
We believe digital parenting should work the same way. A parent in the loop isn’t watching every move, but they’re close enough to stay informed, step in quickly and guide their kid through the digital world with confidence.
Right now, most of us are already trying to be in the loop. We scroll through chat logs, check browser history, monitor screen time. But it’s not sustainable, and kids are savvy. They know how to delete messages. They know what not to search. True parent-in-the-loop systems need to be proactive, not reactive. They need to summarize what’s happening in ways that are actually helpful. They need to flag concerns in real time so you can step in sooner. They should offer regular check-ins or weekly reports instead of random panic scrolls. And, they should let you drill down when you need to, but trust the system when you don’t.
It’s about setting up a rhythm of involvement that doesn’t burn you out or shut them down. Because here’s the truth: most parents want to stay involved. They just don’t have the tools to do it well.
AI isn’t coming someday. It’s here. Kids are already playing with chatbots, experimenting with image generators and asking questions to systems we don’t fully understand ourselves. And once again, parents are being left out of the conversation. That’s because most tech tools treat parents like obstacles or ignore them altogether. You’re either asked to monitor everything (which you can’t) or nothing (which you won’t). It’s an all-or-nothing model. Heroine and potatoes. And like most extremes, it doesn’t work.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to raise kids who’ve never touched a screen. The goal is to raise kids who know how to use technology wisely and keep growing in a world where that tech is constantly evolving. Lifeguard parents. Parents in the loop. These aren’t just ideas we believe in. They’re principles we’re building into every product, every decision, every day. The middle ground exists. It just needs the right tools.
A deeper dive
Here are a few helpful resources in case you want to really dig into today's topic:
If you’ve ever tried to keep on top of your kid’s online activity, you already know it can be tricky. That’s because a lot of the platforms they’re using are not designed for kids, let alone for parents who want to keep an eye on their kids. That’s especially troubling when you learn that lots of teens are sexting with AI bots. According to the Washington Post, “Experts warn the chats with AI can lead to unrealistic expectations of sex and relationship dynamics. Parents worry about the dangers to their children’s mental health, or exposing them to described sexual scenarios too young. Some think the tools might have some value, with limits.”
Miami-Dade County Public Schools are integrating Gemini AI into classrooms, aiming to personalize learning and enhance student engagement. While the initiative promises innovative educational tools, it has sparked discussions about data privacy, equity and the role of AI in education. I believe that our kids need to learn how to use these tools responsibly, but this underscores the importance of keeping parents informed and involved as AI becomes more prevalent in learning environments.
TL;DR
Too long; didn't read. It shouldn't be a full-time job to keep up on industry news, so here is a mercifully quick summary of some other notable developments:
You probably didn’t need the Wall Street Journal to tell you that Facebook has a scam problem. But according to a new report, the problem is prevalent, and Meta is reluctant to do much to curb it, lest they lose out on advertising revenue. One internal document from Facebook even estimated that “70% of newly active advertisers on the platform are promoting scams, illicit goods or “low quality” products.” So be vigilant when clicking through those ads.
Soon, your kids might be able to buy merch from their favorite Roblox creators right in the platform. The company is planning to roll out a new feature that would let certain creators sell items directly to players, meaning there’s one more way for your kids to spend real money in Roblox. Time to keep an eye on those Robux.
And lastly
Here are a few more pieces of original writing from me and my team—just in case you're keen for more:
We know parents have a lot of questions about parental controls. We had the chance to sit down with Tim, a longtime member of the Kidslox team, to hear about his company’s approach to these tools.
And just like that, summer break is right around the corner. Here are some tips from my team for managing screen time and keeping kids entertained this season.